Eleven Core Concepts
Each lesson has been scripted to target the root cause of aggression: Low Frustration Tolerance. We have therefore worked hard to cure students of their victim mentality by building up their emotional resilience to everyday non-criminal aggressions (squabbles). This is why all of our video training series in our growing library of lessons reinforce the following ten lessons:
Do you believe it?
Students learn that verbal direct aggression (name calling, criticizing, or lying) can only cause subjective harm, based on their interpretation of the words. They will learn how to look past the words and focus on the intent of the aggressor. The A-B-C model of REBT is introduced and explained. The key intervention phrase is: "Do you believe it?"
Are you hurt?
Students learn that nonverbal direct aggression (pushing, tripping, gesturing that doesn't cause pain) can only cause subjective harm, based on their interpretation of the provocation. They will learn how to build up their physical resilience by expanding their tolerance towards physical provocations. The A-B-C model of REBT is reinforced as it relates to physical aggression. The key intervention phrase is: "Are you hurt?"
Is it true?
Students learn that verbal indirect aggression (rumors/gossip/trolling) can only cause subjective harm, based on their interpretation of the behavior. They will learn how gossip feeds on their upsetness, and how to "kill the gossip" by "starving it to death." The A-B-C model of REBT is reinforced as it relates to verbal indirect aggression. The key intervention phrase is: "Is it true?"
What else can you do?
In this lesson, students learn that nonverbal indirect aggression (avoiding, ignoring, and excluding) can only cause subjective harm, based on their interpretation of the exclusion. They will learn the sociological value of exclusion and why it's important to preserve resources and values. The A-B-C model of REBT is reinforced as it relates to social exclusion. The key intervention phrase is: "What else can you do?"
How could this have been worse?
Students learn how to improve their mood from "devastated mad" to "disappointed sad". They will learn how to talk themselves off the ledge of irrationality, "give up the grip" of rigid demands, and compare their unfortunate situation with someone else less fortunate. The 6 "roots" to irrational thought will be introduced. The key intervention phrase is: "How could this have been worse?"
Why won't this matter in your future?
Students learn how to improve their mood from "disappointed sad" to "indifferent meh". They will learn how to keep the problem in its proper size, recognizing and embracing the insignificance of the event in comparison to their life-long timeline. The 6 "ANTS" of automatic negative thinking will be introduced and the primary question to help them feel better is: "Why won't this matter in your future?"
How could this turn out for your good?
Students learn how to improve their mood from "indifferent meh" to "optimistic glad". They will learn how to see the good in every bad and view themselves as advantageous for enduring the negative event. Optimistic thinking will be introduced. The key intervention phrase is: "How could this turn out for my good?"
Are they bothering you?
Students learn the intention behind aggression, with this first part focused on "bothering, provoking, and psychological domination." They will learn the sociological value of domination and how to avoid being dominated when they don't want to be. They will be introduced to "the law of reciprocity" and learn how to use that law to their advantage through "The Golden Rule". The key phrase to remember will be "Don't get upset, treat them like a friend." The key intervention phrase is: "Are they bothering you?"
Are they joking with you?
Students learn the intention behind aggression, with this second part focused on "joking, humor, and pranks". They will learn the sociological value of humor and how to enjoy taking and making a joke about themselves. They will be introduced to the 4 styles of humor and learn how to enjoy being the target of humor, embracing their perceived flaws, and enjoying exaggerating them for a laugh. The key phrase to remember will be "Don't get upset and laugh." The key intervention phrase is: "Are they joking with you?"
Are they hurt by you?
Students learn the intention behind aggression, with this third part focused on "hurting and victimization". They will learn the sociological value of emotional pain and how to empathize with others, seeking to comfort them. They will be introduced to the four types of ineffective apologies and taught how to effectively apologize without shifting blame or making excuses. The key phrase to remember will be "Don't get upset and apologize." The key intervention phrase is: "Are they hurt by you?
Are they criticizing you?
Students learn the intention behind aggression, with this fourth part focused on "criticism". They will learn the sociological value of being able to take criticism in a positive way, regardless of whether the criticism is constructive or destructive. They will be introduced to the proper response to any and all criticism - appreciation for pointing out ways we can improve. The key phrase to remember will be "Don't get upset and thank them." The key intervention phrase is: "Are they criticizing you?"
